Thoughts From a Hot Day

I'll give you an update on life later in this post but I want to write something else out before it becomes as thin as the air from whence it came.

Life is confusing.

I'm confused.

I have all of this stuff going on and so do the people I call my friends. They are starting their lives. they are getting their footing and from the outside looking at them with all their smiles, I can't help but wish that I had their easy life.

I know better though. I know that when the time comes, someone whoever it may be will decide that they want me to be theirs forever. Someday I'll have that same smile on my face as the ones I've seen on facebook of the happy couples and the new mothers. Someday maybe I'll know that I worked hard to get what I have. I'll know that behind the smiles are the times we yelled at each other or that I never wanted to talk to him again because that's how a relationship works. The good and the bad together.

I know that my life may feel like a landslide right now, sucking me down somewhere deep and dark and where the final destination is a secret only the universe knows of, but I also know that with the circle is still moving and that good things will come if I only wait for the circle to come around again.

Moral of the story:

It's okay to be jealous because from this you can form your goals and work for what you want making it just that much more satisfying when you get what you want. The candy in your mouth will be the best you ever tasted because you know that you deserve it so to speak.

So as I look at my friends and wonder if I'll ever have what they have, I can know deep down that when the time is right all things will come to me because I worked hard when times were rough and scary.

~*~

As for that update, now that my musing has run its course...

School is going well. I don't have as many classes as I've had before which leaves for a lot of time where I'm not really doing a lot because I finish my homework fairly quickly. Nothing has been very tough so far.

The classes I'm taking this semester are :
Geology Lab Science
World Politics
Research Methodology
French Culture

I am also at the same time working on my thesis which has to do with International policies and trade organizations in terms of globalization and the poverty in lesser developed countries.

I promise that looks more organized on paper than it is here.

I live with my cousin Anne in Sylvania and if you need the address, just ask me for it. I find it a little lonely living off campus where no one really talks to me and there isn't a line for the shower because I have my own bathroom. I don't even have to wash other peoples' dishes but I also don't get to hang out and just watch T.V. or whatever it is we feel like doing that night.

Giant foam pit anyone? Oh, those were good times.

I quit my job at the dining hall on campus. I didn't even end up working for them this semester. We just cut it off and that was that.

So I'm currently looking for a job but that seems to be going well also because I have an interview already with the company Anne works for. Hopefully, something good will come of it. I don't like the feeling  of bills looming over me the way they are right now. I need stability.

My birthday was uneventful. Anne and Thomas took me out that night in BG for darts, pool, and dinner. We really weren't any good at darts or pool but that was alright. Friday, Noah took me out to Texas Roadhouse and it was nice to have a birthday dinner just the two of us.

Other than that nothing really happened. I just am twenty-two now as unexciting as that is.

The weekend before my birthday was Labor Day weekend or as I used to call it, Flavor Day. Noah and I met my family on Kelly's Island Friday night. We wandered around the festival stuff for a little bit and saw the parade (if you can call it that) on Saturday, followed by ice-cream and a tour of the island with Grandpa and Grandma as the tour guides. I got sick with a migraine on Sunday so I missed pretty much the whole day. That rolled into Noah and I having a crappy time at Cedar Point on Monday because we were both set on edge by the crowd that was there. We managed 4 coasters (not even big ones) then left. Noah wants to go back but after that time I'm apprehensive to say the least.

Graduation is for sure now. I know I've said that before or maybe not but I feel like I have so I apologize anyway. This time however I the proof in the $35 that I paid the university so that I can be put on the list. All I have to do is finish my classes (not failing them) and then when December rolls around I'll be walking up to take a diploma in my hand and know that I've accomplished at least part of my life's goals. It is going to feel so good to hold that piece of paper in my hands after all the work I am and have put into getting it.

I guess that I had better wrap up this post because it's starting to get late and I have class in the morning.

I may not have a lot to say all the time or I may not make the move  that is expected of me but trust me, that doesn't mean that I'm through with the relationship. I love you and could never intentionally hurt you without hurting myself. If you know me then you know that I need my quiet sometimes but that doesn't mean that I'm not thinking of you and wishing that you were there with me so that you could share in my adventures.

Bright Blessings to you all.