Considering that it is going to be Halloween this week, and I haven't written in a while, I figured this week I would compose some sort of post as my treat (or trick) to you.
First of all, the title comes from Charlie Brown for those of you who haven't seen "The Great Pumpkin". I highly suggest watching it because it's a classic and because this post will make more sense if you understand that part.
Let's see where I can start...
I've recently accepted an internship position with a market research company based out of Perrysburg. They are letting me work around my classes, getting about 23 hours a week. It's not what I expected and I've been trying to get them to see that they're underestimating my abilities but I haven't been with them that long either so my frustration is mostly internal.
The fact that I have time to write this post right now is proof of my lack of things to do, and yes, I've asked for more things to do.
What do I do at this company?
Well, when I come in at 8 am, I make myself a coffee and settle in to my cube, where both of my monitors remind me to be whimsical and adventurous as always because they have a Tardis floating through space as the background. It seems odd to me that no one has said anything about them yet but maybe my co-workers just need to warm up to me before they ask or comment on the awesomeness of my computer.
I went on a little tangent there.
After pulling up my office email and checking for things that need attention there, I go onto one of their survey websites and take surveys for them as part of a Quality Assurance process. Basically, I make sure that all of the internet stuff works and that the Survey runs pretty true to what our client wanted. It's not the most labor intensive thing in the world but it is a little draining because for the most part I'm answering questions about my age, gender, income, and place of residence over and over through what they call demographic questions.
Other than that, I'm learning how the system works and doing what I can to help the project managers or the people who run the survey for our clients. There are only 6 project managers plus the boss and then me on our side of the office. On the other side is tech and I haven't worked with many of them yet so I don't know all of them.
On Thursday, there is going to be an office party for Halloween and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that yet. I haven't decided if I'm going to actually dress up as something or someone because I still have to go to class and all that so it could be a hassle to dress up and run across campus trying to make it to class on time. Lunch is catered though so that's cool. I don't think that they've decided who to call for catering yet but free food is always cool in my book.
Today, my geology class was canceled so I'll be at work, grabbing some extra time, until 3 so that I can get to my French Culture class at 3:30 pm. I have a feeling that it's going to be a long day.
Home life is different from what I'm used to. It's definitely not dorm life, that's for sure. My cousin is taking care of me for the most part...or maybe we take care of each other on some level. Who knows. We sort of adopted a kitten who I named Jack after Jack Skellington of Nightmare Before Christmas. He's all black except for a very small patch of white on his stomach. He's attached himself to me and because he wants all of my attention can be very annoying but I can deal with it for now.
My thesis is not going well at all. I need to spend more time on it and get it moving but with midterms I miss judged how much time they would take up. Now is the time to buckle down and get it done however I have to do that. One option is moving stuff to the study and working in there but I'm not sure how well that will work. I also don't know until I try it so maybe this week that will be what happens. Maybe sitting behind a desk when I go to work on it will make my brain function better than sitting with my laptop on my bed and the books all around me.
My stress level has been really high lately and I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as that goes. There are just too many things going on for me to process like I am. They all need my attention too which makes things terrible for the stress level.
I'm lucky to have support from the people I'm getting it from. I know that I've closed myself off from some of you and I don't want you to think that I do that on purpose or with malice or anything like that. I do it without thinking because my life is so busy I just can't maintain the same level of contact that we once had. It's not that I don't want to talk to you, I just haven't figured out how to manage my time well enough to fit everyone in. That being said I also don't want to dump my stress on people, I do it enough to a few people and I feel bad about it every time I do.
So I have to send out a big THANK YOU to Noah who has been dealing with my emotional breakdowns and my crazy schedule. I know that sometimes I give him grief about some things but I only do because I care. I hope that he knows how much I care about him and how much knowing that he supports me and can put up with my tears when I snap means to me.
Also, a THANK YOU goes to my Aunt Heather for the phone call late in the evening. Talking it out with her made everything a little clearer and got me settled down enough to get some sleep that night. My stress was spilling over and getting the best of me but with a new perspective on it, I think that I can probably handle the next week at least.
I have to give a shout out to my girl Cassi, who is starting a novel for NANOWRIMO. I hope that she finds it challenging but also enriching. Sometimes digging deep for that challenge makes you see things in a way you never did before. It can also make times not feel quite as crazy as they are because its an escape from everything in your life for what your heart wants most. I wish her the best of luck in this and I hope most of all that she has fun doing it.
Another shout out goes to the crew at the Scare Fair for a great date night with Noah. I was so scared that I got the hick-ups (which has never happened to me before). These guys did an awesome job and I'm glad that I got to experience it at least once. I know that I won't be going through The Gauntlet ever again, that's for sure. I don't even care if that makes me a chicken because I'll own up to it. I was terrified.
For anyone interested in going next year, here is a link to their website. (Scare Fair) Noah is actually in a few of the pictures on their home page for those of you who have met him.
My little brother who isn't so little anymore, has a family thing November 2 which I will probably attend. I know that when there was a family thing at BG it was overrated but since he's not at BG maybe this one will be different. I just have to get information from someone about times and an address so that I know where to go and when to be there.
The baby brother is making his sister proud in the marching band and generally being a goof like his sister was and his brother too I suppose. I was really happy that I got to see him perform on Homecoming with their silly capes and inverted drumline. Sounds like they are having a good year for the band geeks.
As for getting a rock,
I'm going to use it as an analogy for my life at this very moment.
If the trick or treat bag were my life, and the whole knocking on doors thing were lets say, the job search after college. I'm searching but the doors don't open and the promise of candy is the only thing that keeps me going on to the next. Every door has a light on but no one answers when I knock. Maybe I'm not knocking loud enough but I can't tell because I can't see the other kids knocking on doors. I chose to go down the strange obscure street where all the people from other countries live. They probably don't celebrate the holiday at all but I wanted to go there because it was supposed to be an exciting new adventure. I keep searching and searching for the house that is going to give me that beautifully delicious piece of candy that will symbolize my triumph. Instead, my bag holds a rock, a rock that is pretty big and heavy. This rock is my thesis and impending graduation. It could turn out to be a geode and hold beautiful crystals but for now it is a heavy rock that makes me worry about all the unopened doors and how I'll ever be able to find one that opens for me.
So, yeah, I got a rock.
I think that about wraps everything up for now. I'll try to update again soon.
As always,
Blessed Be.
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