Where's the Door?

College was quite the adventure, it had its ups and downs. 

I had my moments of brilliance and my moments of idiocy. 

I made new friends and discovered new lands (new to me anyway). 

I conquered exams of all shapes and sizes and I wrote my way out of the darkness that was my thesis. 

I learned a new language and practiced the one I knew. 

I found someone who truly cares about me outside of my family and I managed to hold onto him for a very eventful year. 

I lived in a dorm and I lived with my cousin in a palace with a dog and my poor little kitty who had to leave me.

I went up on stage and shook the president of the university's hand, having passed all my classes.

I closed the door on that life event but now I'm in a hall with a multitude of closed doors waiting for one to swing open and invite me in. 

People tell me about all the possibilities that area out there but I don't think they really know what's actually there. I've been told that I could do this or that when in reality I have no qualification to do that and in most cases, it doesn't matter if I'm fluent in Spanish if I don't have a special certificate that says I know how to translate. 

I started looking for jobs around Thanksgiving, hoping to find something before I graduated so that I wouldn't have the gap that I now have. I've applied to hundreds of jobs but no one is contacting me. My phone is silent and my inbox only gives me junk mail.

So where's my door?

Running short on funds to pay for my car has forced me to start applying for jobs that I'm very much overqualified for such as McDonald's and soon to be gas stations and grocery stores. 

What am I lacking?

I feel qualified but I guess that on paper I don't look qualified or something to that matter. It doesn't make sense to me after taking all that time in college to prepare for the working world why I now can't seem to jump in and find my place.

While I love my family, I'm ready to not live in Farwell. Not only is it cold and miserable, I'm forced to ask my parents for food and shelter that they shouldn't have to give. They shouldn't have to support me still, and though they don't complain, I'm sure that it would be easier if I were independent.

Since I haven't written since before graduation and Christmas, I guess I should probably get off my depressing horse and tell you what I did between then and now.

Graduation came with all its pomp and circumstance and I ended up sitting next to my friend Phoebe and shared in the comments about the procession, giggling and trying to keep each other from bursting into tears, which I ultimately did when my mother waved a rose at me from afar.

Dinner at the fancy Italian place that night was a great time. The food was great and the company made it perfect. My parents even surprised me and got me a blue sapphire ring in honor of graduation. It's beautiful and I love it dearly.

I moved out of my cousin's house the next day and headed home with a brother in the passenger seat and the snow coming down. It was an interesting trip that included stops where the whole city had no power and everyone seemed to be driving like they had to be somewhere immediately.

Christmas came in a blur of family and food. Relaxing and just enjoying our time together was great. Zac gave me the little black dragon (Toothless) who has been in photos on my Facebook page recently. 

The Friday that followed Christmas (December 27) I went back south to spend a week with Noah and his parents to celebrate the new year and Noah's birthday. We had a great week and I hope he had a great birthday. I took him to Dave and Busters the day before his birthday and then his parents took us out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner on his birthday. I even tried my first pineapple upside-down cake and even though I didn't like it I was brave enough to try it.

Saturday the 25th is the one year anniversary of the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wish I could be with him but as it stands I have no money and no way to get there.

I arrived back in time to send Zac off to Columbus with my parents and Zeke. They managed to make the round trip in a snow storm that left Zeke out of school for two days following it.

Just this past weekend, Zeke and I traded rooms. I am no longer a dungeon dweller and I have my own almost apartment space upstairs. The walls may be blue camouflage but you can't deny that it is my space now that I'm all moved in. Zeke is thrilled with his new space too so I guess this is a win-win situation. 

The only thing missing is my ability to sleep.

Hopefully, as I settle in to my new space, I'll get to point where I don't have problems sleeping.

While I'm not on the job hunt I've had time to edit my novels and get them back on the market. You can find them on Amazon and they can be ordered from retailers such as Barnes and Noble... isn't that fancy?

I'm still pretty proud of them.

I plan on going through some old stories and seeing if there is anything I can patch together from the stacks of notebooks that I have just hanging out in my room. Maybe it will inspire something I have going right now.

I've also had time to chew through two books over 300 pages in around 6 days. It is kind of a let down on myself because I don't have the money to get more books so I will be stuck for a bit after the third one is finished. I may have to go find out if the library has the book series I'm reading and get a new library card. I haven't gotten a book from them since I graduated high school... wow...

I'm also planning to maybe patch together some kind of pseudo scrapbook of my college career or at least of my Paris adventure. Creative outlet to keep my frustration with the job search in check...

I think that's all I have for this update.

If any of you out there reading this have job suggestions, I'm open to them. Just leave me a comment.

Hopefully my door will open soon and all my worries will fade into the past. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading and as always,

Blessed Be