April Showers Bring May Flowers

Life is a roller coaster.

Seriously, I was too depressed to function just yesterday and now here I sit content and optimistic.

Why?

I don't pretend to know why things work the way they do.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I mean I have a good amount of time to my own thoughts most days which is good because Noah is making money and bringing home the bacon right now. I've just had a lot on my mind and I'm wondering what to do with my life. Things aren't exactly the way I had hoped they would be after graduating from college.

I have been playing with the idea of going back to school in the fall to work towards my masters degree. I know that I've mentioned it before but it's a harder decision for me than it seems. There are more factors involved than the surface few and I'm finding it harder and harder to make a definitive choice.

Thinking about getting my masters also quite frankly depresses me. The money that it would take to go back will only put me further into debt and the looming bills already have me scared. I don't know what I'm going to do about them and I don't know if I want to be an adult anymore.

I think I want to be one of those kids who has school paid for by their family and they are given a job randomly because their family has connections in high places. I want to be the person that can say they have their own place but doesn't have to pay for it because it was paid for by their parents. I want to be the lucky upper crust who doesn't have to worry about anything and can go out and party whenever I feel like it because money isn't scarce.

Not that I don't love my family or the way they raised me, I just find it hard to look at others living that life and having mine beat me down until I'm paying for things in the spare change I can dig out of the couch cushions.

I've been thinking about my books lately too. I'm wondering if it was worth publishing them at all. I don't think they are being read by that many people and if they are being read its just my family and friend who have chosen to pick it up.

I wish that I could hand them out to people for free and do a book signing or something. I wish I knew how to market them better and come up with a cover that isn't so boring. That stuff alone would help I'm sure.

I started writing something new just the other day and it is giving me strange dreams because it's on my mind when I go to bed. It's a different writing style for me because of the point of view but I think that I can handle it. I'm a little excited to see how the story plays out to be honest.

Now comes the bad news segment of my blog.

I've been turned down by a few more jobs in the past week. I was hoping for the best and trying hard to be optimistic about them but I guess that they weren't right for me in the end. Or maybe I wasn't right for them. I'm starting to think that having a college degree looks threatening to people.

The apartment that we were looking at and hoping for was spoken for by someone else. Apparently their application went through first because they were uneasy about us only having one income at the moment. So lesson learned about finding an apartment before you have a job. I imagine that it looks bad on the application anyway.

Now for the good news.

I have an interview next week with Family Video. The manager there said that I should start the Manager in Training program they have. That could mean that I wouldn't start on the bottom and that I would be getting better than minimum wage if I were to be accepted.

...

So my computer battery died last night and I went to bed without actually telling you the good news as I had planned to. I guess I'll just have to continue from here and apologize for the change in context.

Anyway, yesterday I was going to announce that I have been hired by a jewelry store in the Lima mall named Roger's Jewelers. I'm excited to start and I will find out tomorrow (Wednesday) what my schedule will be. I'm only part time right now so I may not be getting very good hours but the potential for growth is something I can't ignore. They have some great benefits for their employees when they start full time, including tuition reimbursement.

I got a call this morning from a cafe uptown and I scheduled an interview for later on today. You'll have to ask me later this evening how it went but I doubt that I will tell you that it went over horribly. I've always wanted to work in a cafe. It just seems like the place a novelist would spend their time.

Things are looking up!

I don't know what combination I might choose but I am going to take on two jobs right now while Roger's has me on part time. I guess that it might come down to who gives me the offer first or maybe how I feel about the people I meet when I go for the interview. First impressions are everything.

Now to find a place to live. I'm sure that it will come in good time. I'm just excited to actually have some good news to report instead of all of my depression.

Here's to hoping that the gods are good to me for a bit longer. I can only thank them for this drop of good fortune and ask that I see enough of it to finally achieve my goal of having my own place.

I hope that everyone else is having the same good fortune and that you are enjoying the warmer weather!

If you are traveling for summer vacation, I wish you safe travels.

And if you are graduating soon, well done my friends, and congratulations. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in finding out what you are going to do with the future that lies before you.

As always,

Blessed Be.