It seems to be a new normal to sit in front of my computer with a good drink and my fingers flying over the keyboard in order to blog. I don't know why I feel like I want to blog when I pour myself a drink but here I am and here is what I have to say.
I'm not the same girl I was in high school.
I know that doesn't sound like anything new but let me make this clear in case there are any skeptics in the crowd.
I'm not the same girl I was in high school. I can't go back to that. There isn't any possible way of going back to being that person unless someone has a way to trap my brain there. That girl is gone. She grew up. She sees things differently now.
You see, experiences shape people. It's been proven with science that experiences shape thought and I've had my fair share of experiences.
Everything that made that girl in high school has disappeared for the most part. That girl hated how life was going on for her. She pushed the boundaries because she was bored with the old rules and the sheep that surrounded her daily life. She thought about escape nearly every minute. Not in suicide but in the comfort of the world within her own mind. Her neverland, where adventures were hers to be had and she could learn about anything she wanted without being blocked by rules and unavailability.
Then that girl escaped. She went out into the world by herself and learned what she wanted because she could. Adventure beckoned and she chased the call. She did things she could have never imagined doing in a million years and she grew.
She got out of the sheep that surrounded her and when she got back, she was sad to be stuck again. She was sad that the adventures kept calling but she couldn't go after them anymore, or so she thought. She found a way to get around those walls and ended up going on even bigger adventures. Her heart sang and her soul grew. She found who she was and thought she knew what she wanted to do with her life but she came back and the sheep were still there. Still doing the same thing, expecting her to fall into their pattern and share their goals.
After everything, the good and the bad, there was no going back to the way things used to be. There still isn't any chance for her to go back.
If you're thinking that you might be one of the sheep, then you might need to stop analyzing everything so closely. I used sheep as a metaphor, though seriously, I can think of no better word for the way my hometown functions.
Point is, don't ask me to be what is gone. Don't ask me to give up what I cling to for sanity in the rut I'm in. Don't tell me that I'm not the girl I was in high school because I already know that.
Now, moving on, I realize that I haven't given any details about Christmas, and the presents I received, but I don't think that I will divulge that information. If you gave me a gift, I appreciate it and everything that I got was so amazing but that's all I want to say about that. Christmas isn't about that sort of thing, or at least it shouldn't be.
I enjoyed my time with family and friends and I feel like it went by in the blink of an eye. Before I knew it, I was back to the monotony of a paying job.....but I can't complain, as I've said before, because that money is paying for books.
New years is tomorrow and I'm planning to go to a party even though I'll have to go without the comfort zone I've carried around me for a long time. I probably won't know many people there and I have to show up by myself because it's a 21 and older party to which I have a free ticket and the band Delightfuls will be playing at. I'm excited and nervous.
Maybe I'll get a kiss at midnight.
Yeah, okay, that's a reach. I just want to have some fun.
Working tomorrow so I'm going to wrap this up and move on.
Have a happy 2013 everyone! I hope it brings you everything that you deserve and I hope that the road bumps that come your way in this new year are small ones that are easily overcome.
Go on an adventure. Enjoy the time you have, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Blessed Be.
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